They Cannot Find Me Here

BOOK EXTRACTS

For much of my life

I felt like I did not fit inside my own skin

that I was an alien inside my own body

An imposter

I tried so hard to cut away the pieces of myself that didn’t quite fit the image of who I thought I should be 

But the more I whittled away at myself

The more lost I became

And then one day 

I found myself brushing my fingers over all the wounds I had inflicted upon myself

Shuddering

at the realisation of what I had done

I was a flower trying to bloom

And I had spent so long 

Pruning myself away

Until all that was left was thorns

In horror, I settled the blades in front of me

And instead tended to myself with forgiveness,

love

And compassion

And as the days turned into weeks

I washed myself begin to change

Transform

Into the person I was always supposed to be

And for the first time since I could remember

I found myself gazing at my reflection

Spellbound by the person staring back at me

Unable to comprehend how I’d starved myself 

And stunted myself 

Trying to find perfection

When perfection had been inside me

All along